Hiding

You can try to be drunk and hide the lonely

But the world will always find you at your most vulnerable

And there’s no escape in that.

How in the world do you make sense of the 2 am silence?

When she has trust issues.

You won’t really get to take care of her. Because compared to how she guards her walls, you’ll look like a pebble trying to knock down mountains.

It is not sad. It is depressing.

My mind doesn’t tell me anything..only that it hurts. The feeling of being left by a friend- it is not sad. It is depressing.

I am frowning with all the frustration my eyebrows can arc. And the confusion inside my mind programs me to throw anything within arm’s reach. I feel like a child. I wish I were a child. Just so I wouldn’t have to deal with all this drama. Should I tell you, a random person..one in a billion of the human population, my story?

Why the hell not?

I mean, isn’t that why I write..to tell a story.

So it all began simple. I went through a break up and my BEST FRIEND so gratefully did me a favor by comforting the person who made my heart commit suicide.  Now his heart is fixed and mended and ready to beat to the tune of another sappy love song… And so now my best friend goes frolicking through the meadows into the sunset and into the pages of happily ever after with him, leaving her old family that stuck with her through all the ups and downs of high school’s roller coaster watching by at the sidelines.

We’ve talked once..twice..thrice..four times., but sadly, there is no such thing as talking her into some sense because she is madly in love and she forgot everyone behind the smile she carries today.

But dear reader, tell me…was she really my best friend? Tell me, am I the one at fault’s line? She was supposed to be my best friend. Four years of sisterhood and childishness and memories and mischief and trouble-making, all ending just because of one guy.

Dear reader, help me. Help me restore my faith in humanity.

Unspoken Words of Betrayal

Look at your best friend. She’s crying.

Look at her all crumpled up in a pitiful state against the tiles of the bathroom wall. Her eyes, still gentle and black..but look closer, its dark…as if the soul has been sucked out of it. Watch her cry, her cherry blossom lips bleeding from all the staggering words she’s been dying to tell you. Imagine all the hurt she is carrying now. 

With red on her cheeks, she smiles to you and says “I’m okay.”

She’s your bestfriend. And you’re sending clouds of rain above her once so perfect blue skies. She’s miserable. But you’re happy. So why sacrifice, right?

And so dear reader, I go on and watch her take what once was mine. And so I go on and write unspoken words. I never thought I was the damsel in distress. Well jokes on me now. 

Watch me. One day, I’ll defy gravity.