technology

I lost my phone: The silver lining

So recently, I lost my phone and decided not to get a new one (for now). And for the past few weeks, I’ve realized how attached I have been to my phone. My whole life was basically pieced through all the contacts I have, all the unfinished poems in my memos, the random snapshots, records of late night calls—all of which were contained in a device no bigger than the size of my face. And in an instance of carelessness (either that, or someone stole it), it all just disappeared.

At first I panicked. Most times, I still panic.

But there is something new about the experience of not having a phone through which people can contact you. I’ve realized that there are some people in this world who I only reach through my cellular phone— people I’m not even friends with on facebook/other social media. And it’s weird because does that mean I cut off these people from my life?

And sure, you might be wondering why in the fuck’s world do I contact these people only through their mobile numbers.. The truth? I never thought I’d lose my phone.

But anyways, the more important lesson here is how we humans have been connected through devices– as if all the combinations of ones and zeros were the very linkages of humanity. We lose the ability to communicate. We lose the ability to perceive from a different stand point. We lose patience.

Not having a phone (for now), had made me force myself to trust words and to trust people. So if i ever set a meet-up with a friend at a certain place at a certain time, I have to trust that they hold their end of the bargain and show up. Which is kinda like a gamble of time- it makes you think, am I wasting my time waiting for a friend who has no intention of showing up or am I just being impatient because I dont have a phone to text them and have them update me. In extreme cases wherein they  really dont show up, I rely on coincidence— fate that a random schoolmate or anyone I know will show up out of nowhere and lend me his/her phone. (yes, it has happened— many times)

But you see, weve been too caught up in having everything happen in an instant- one click to know someone’s whereabouts, one click to cancel a date, one click to reach someone 500 miles away. Although its all amazing innovation and invention, we lose so much of our values to it.

So this week, I’ve learned to be patient. And I’ve learned to trust that people will eventually come through for you. Mostly, I’ve been having fun not knowing what’s gonna happen, who I’m gonna be forced to socialize with because I really need access to a phone. And lastly, I feel more present.

I’m not saying you should lose your phone or something. But try to turn it off once in a while. Might do you some good 🙂

 

The best way to break-up with someone.

We’ve all heard cliche lines like “its not you, its me” or “you’re an awesome person but im just not ready” and one that i’ve used a lot is “we should just be friends”

Break-ups are terrible. And I cannot tell you of an unterrible way of doing it. All those nice gestures people do to try and ease the burn they’re just about to inflict to someone, its total bullshit. Eventually, the moment someone breaks your heart will hurt you so bad you remember them every single day..when you wake up, when you walk by the place you first met, when you eat your favorite food he cooked for you on your birthday, and especially when you’re alone at night suffering from the dreaded insomnia.

I’ve seen friends break up with their boyfriends. Usually done with the “you’re the nicest guy ever” and followed by the “but this just won’t work.”

And I’ve seen douche bags dump my friends. I’ve usually had to comfort them and pretend like a famous Philosopher, showering them with quotes that will somehow empower them. (For example, dont cry because its over; smile because it happened.)

Dear reader, I don’t know the best way to break up with a person. But I do know the worst way and that is to do it over a phone call, or a text message, or a fuckin e-mail.

People should stop using technology as an excuse for convenience. If you have to break someone’s heart, at least have the guts to say it to their face. Don’t throw away months of something real into cyberspace with some sad face emoji.

I think that’s what’s wrong with break-ups nowadays. Its always done in front of a screen. And I know you’re gonna ask me about long distance relationships…well I guess that’s the exception. But for people who have the means of meeting up and talking about it, THEY CERTAINLY SHOULD.

To break a heart is to make a person cry. Its somehow like starting a wildfire, burning through all the special days and special photographs. It’s ending a chapter, deciding move on to some other book without that someone. The least we can do is to man up (yes, whether you’re a girl or a boy) and just do it with all the sensitivity we could muster 🙂