I lost my phone: The silver lining

So recently, I lost my phone and decided not to get a new one (for now). And for the past few weeks, I’ve realized how attached I have been to my phone. My whole life was basically pieced through all the contacts I have, all the unfinished poems in my memos, the random snapshots, records of late night calls—all of which were contained in a device no bigger than the size of my face. And in an instance of carelessness (either that, or someone stole it), it all just disappeared.

At first I panicked. Most times, I still panic.

But there is something new about the experience of not having a phone through which people can contact you. I’ve realized that there are some people in this world who I only reach through my cellular phone— people I’m not even friends with on facebook/other social media. And it’s weird because does that mean I cut off these people from my life?

And sure, you might be wondering why in the fuck’s world do I contact these people only through their mobile numbers.. The truth? I never thought I’d lose my phone.

But anyways, the more important lesson here is how we humans have been connected through devices– as if all the combinations of ones and zeros were the very linkages of humanity. We lose the ability to communicate. We lose the ability to perceive from a different stand point. We lose patience.

Not having a phone (for now), had made me force myself to trust words and to trust people. So if i ever set a meet-up with a friend at a certain place at a certain time, I have to trust that they hold their end of the bargain and show up. Which is kinda like a gamble of time- it makes you think, am I wasting my time waiting for a friend who has no intention of showing up or am I just being impatient because I dont have a phone to text them and have them update me. In extreme cases wherein they  really dont show up, I rely on coincidence— fate that a random schoolmate or anyone I know will show up out of nowhere and lend me his/her phone. (yes, it has happened— many times)

But you see, weve been too caught up in having everything happen in an instant- one click to know someone’s whereabouts, one click to cancel a date, one click to reach someone 500 miles away. Although its all amazing innovation and invention, we lose so much of our values to it.

So this week, I’ve learned to be patient. And I’ve learned to trust that people will eventually come through for you. Mostly, I’ve been having fun not knowing what’s gonna happen, who I’m gonna be forced to socialize with because I really need access to a phone. And lastly, I feel more present.

I’m not saying you should lose your phone or something. But try to turn it off once in a while. Might do you some good 🙂


A Family of Disappointments

Universe is an old man with a crooked noise and a scar along his face from all the battles he’s fought. He’s back’s hunched up in a grumpy looking manner, and in between his teeth there never is a day without a cigarette. Every morning he frowns at the papers with headlines screaming to his face about the complaints of mankind. He is a husband to a working mom- Nature.

She used to be so kind to everyone, always baked cookies for the neighbors. Just a knock and you’ll see her gleeful smile and radiant beauty. My, my..she used to look so wonderful..until the day she started losing her trees and her animals started dyinng and the world turned against her.

Now she releases her wrath on almost everyone-the old and the young, the innocent and the evil. Oh poor Nature had to mourn the death of her creations. And she has never been the same since.

It’s 2:00.

The Universe is smoking cigars at an unknown galaxy, stressed about every complaint and curses he’s been hearing from all around the world while his wife, Nature picks up the kids.

She first went to a music studio where Destiny is learning how to play to the symphonies of right timing and right pairings. She’s the little brat of the family who thinks she’s got it all. She screws everyone up because she still can’t get the perfect rhythm. Her violin can only make a cacophany of disastrous noise.

 Nature gets angry all the time and shakes off her fury by sending storms down below. One time, Destiny tried to play the sweet melody of love. She played to Romeo and Juliet then she got lost and the story turned into a tragedy. So Nature sent down a storm that burned like ice. Each time Destiny screws up, her mom grounds her thus she is unable to correct her mistakes.

Nature is always moody whenever Destiny is with her instrument.

Destiny’s four-eyed brother, Faith, is also a disappointment. He’s just too young and too shy and too timid. No matter how many years of training he goes under, his skills in archery are truly poor together with his eyesight. He tries his hardest to strike the hearts of the evil but in his lifetime, he has only hit a few. That is why in this world, Faith is a slowly fading footprint.

The only one in the family that everyone relies on is Miracle-young girl with pretty blue eyes and dark brown curls that blend so perfectly with her fair skin and cherry blossom cheeks. Ever since she attended culinary classes, she’s been cooking up some real delight.

She’s made the masses believe beyond what the world offers. She has made Frankenstein’s science into reality and she has turned impossibilities to possibilities and she helped the world survive countless decades of a disease spreading- a kind of virus that infiltrates the  mind and poisons it, taking away humanity. Miracle is the greatest among them..yet she is always sick. It is only prayers that can cure her. And if Faith can’t master archery, then the world will continue to be deaf to Miracle’s pleads. And if Destiny can’t create beautiful endings for everyone, Nature will keep getting angry. Thus the people will suffer and blame it all on Universe.

This is a family of disappointments.


On the patience of a thousand smiles.

I’ve always thought that on the days when the sun sets with such perfectness, there will always be something wrong to balance out the good that has happened. I always thought that the world worked in fairness..that the good deserved the best and the bad deserved the worst.

I was wrong. Fairness is the least thing the universe offers.

Nothing will ever happen to us if we keep sailing through calm waters and snowless winters. Faith can only grow so strong on the moments in life when it is put to test. And the mind can only see its stupidity when pain is injected through us.

Over the past few weeks, I have cried an ocean…I have ran the miles of desperation and got no where. I have put my trust on thieves and worthless people…went through countless attempts of ending what is not mine to end. The other side of the tunnel holds no light…for it is only in me and the patience of a thousand smiles that can bring a spark into something that once died…And yes, dear reader, my faith is revived.

Life is a jerk..sometimes a miracle..and sometimes a tragedy. But reader, it is a teacher that teaches us the best lessons in a world filled with so much fragile souls. And I guess, I would like to share with you some lessons earned by this 16-year old damsel living in this swiftly moving planet..witnessing its chaos and mischief.

SMILE. Nothing in this world is permanent. But darling, if you can’t change the bitter truth of it all, then maybe you can change the way you see it. Always smile.. to the haters, the bullies, the heart breakers,  the insensitive, the back all those who tried to bring you down, smile to them with all the hatred your middle finger holds.

And yes, life does get better. But before it does, it would have to get worse first. because nothing in this world will ever taste sweet if youre tongue is used to the same dullness of goodness and purity. One can only know the warmness of the sun when it stars to snow. One can only miss the beautiful moments when they become memories.


YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I promise you, this will never be a lie. There are billions of people in this world that doesn’t know you’re story..maybe half of them doesn’t even care..but within the half of the other half, there might just be that one person..maybe sitting on her bed, writing words and singing lyrics…and she might just listen to you. And she might just be me.

‘CHOOSE HAPPINESS’ IS SOMETIMES A LIE. Don’t measure relationships with happiness, especially love. Because love is not always about the is supposed to be happy, free, confused and lovely at the same time. Sometimes happiness is like drugs..on the days when we feel so depressed we try to follow whatever it is that can put an end to the sleepless nights and endless tears. And we don’t often do a good job in choosing the right path because temporary happiness only leads to blindness.

PAIN IS INEVITABLE. But pain is the antidote of stupidity. It is an eye-opener. So that on the days when history repeats itself, you have the chance to change the ending.

And lastly, I believe that in these times of my youth, I should be searching for my bridesmaid rather than my groom. Because if my life contained more decades in the future, then a man could carry me across the mud and murky swamps. But a friend, would face it all with me.

To the patient smiles of my friends, I dedicate this piece to you.