him

You.

chicken win
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I thought of him today

How can I say your name without bitterness filling up my mouth?

‘Cuz just this morning, 5 am this morning

I was walking through the streets we used to walk together,

And I remembered us- half lit cigarettes amidst dim skies,

Looking for a place to eat

A place to chat

A place to search for possibilities

Of you and me

How can I not fall back in love?

When all you ever did was make sure

That each word you whispered

Would find their way to my heart

Make it beat so loud that

I can hear the ‘I love you’

Whenever you ask if I’ve already eaten

Whenever you walk me home

Whenever you kiss me on the forehead just when you think I’ve fallen asleep

How can alcohol not work?

I’ve downed countless shot after shots

But baby, you are a memory I never want to forget

Because all I know

Was you loved me

And I broke you to pieces.

(photo credit: http://favim.com/image/44789/)

I, a lover.

Which would you rather be:

A. That person who’s sweet voice shouts into the void for a chance in romance..

or B. That person who waits for the warmth of another hand upon his.

I’d choose none.

Dear reader, looking for someone is too desperate. And waiting for someone is too damn cliche.

I’d rather be the person who’s name is so beautiful to call upon. Someone who’d spend their time being who they are. I’d wear my fandom shirts and not care if all the pretty girls wear dresses. I’d wake up everyday and eat pancakes because I love pancakes even if they make me fat. I’d listen to Ed Sheeran and never get tired of putting his songs on repeat. I’d never talk in a shy girl tone because that’s not me at all. I’d wear my hair the way I want it. I’d read whatever books contained words that fly me to the galaxies. I’d never stop bursting out into a song whenever I feel like it. And I’d always remember to look for owls outside my house during summer. I’d hug my pillow to sleep because there is nothing as fluffy as my pillow. I’d be happy to smile everyday knowing I am who I am so that when the day comes when I meet that special someone, he would fall in love not because I’m his ideal girl..but because I made him realize what he was looking for all along.

LOVE

Image

(photo credits: tumblr)

Dear reader, I think LOVE is an involuntary feeling..you just know it when you feel it. It’s not something you can force out or describe or explain.. Love is going crazy about not seeing him.. 

Love is a smile…one so beautiful that it makes the wind sing and the clouds cry and the universe exalt in intergalactic staccato bursts of unimaginable wonder..

To love is to write.. to feel all the emotions at the tip of your fingers as if the entire cosmos is at arms reach..as if nothing in this world is as fulfilling as holding the hand of the love of your life..as if the whole of the baby blue skies is concealed within his eyes.. as if I have forgotten the warmth of the sun every time we lock each other in one infinite embrace.

Love is creating a poem..lovers are poets for all their vows and promises are so lovely to hear and even lovelier to say but it becomes loveliest when they keep it.. and when they kiss.. it is as if they are scribbling their passion into each other’s lips..so that their love will live on with every curve of the lips.

To fall in love, dear reader, I don’t think there is anything as wonderful as simply falling in love. It is a storm of a million wonderful feelings.. Breath-taking.

Give me some time to miss you.. 

…because maybe one day, I’ll look down at my lap and remember how you fell asleep on it…my fingers brushing your hair and my lungs trying so hard to steady my breaths to minimize movement as not to wake you up. Maybe Mcdo breakfasts will never be the same without you urging me to eat more and more then tell me I’m fat when I finish. My head will one day tilt from all the burden of pain and not have your shoulder to lean on. I would have to wipe the tears alone because months from now you will be miles away from this damsel in distress writing you a letter..months from now you would probably be in someone else’s dreams. And I can’t bear that.

More than that, I won’t have someone else to call when I have the sudden urge to watch a movie. I have no one to have mood swings on and still love me at the end of the day. Soon enough I’ll realize that I don’t have someone I complain to about my weight..And my hands will fill empty. My whole heart would be drained. 

And maybe by the time I miss you…you’re already long gone…just like the others in my long list of traitors.

My wingless sparrow.

Why do I feel like you’re flying around the world? You’re in London, Rio, Moscow… You’re almost everywhere except here by my side where I need you.

Won’t you come and share warm cups of coffee with me? Let’s cuddle on the coach as the rain assures our confinement in the coziness of the room with the distance between us closed.our eyes locked together..my lips upon your lips. Baby,won’t you come and love me more each day? 

The ‘sky’ fell and I fell with it.

Let me make this simple. 

He cupped my face with both hands. I am at bliss. 

He stared into my eyes. My soul is lost.

Instead of a goodbye, he said the words “Don’t ever forget me.” And all the pieces of me shifted in a way that all the cracks seem to be filled with the sureness of his voice. 

Then he held my hand. And I felt the gush of a million feelings all at once.

Dear reader, what words could describe the courage and stupidity of a person who would challenge distance and test time only to prove that his “forever” is as real as the universe is infinite? Though he is not my galaxy, I believe he is my meteor who gave up his throne in the beautiful abode of heavenly bodies and fell to the earth only to crash and burn and see me smile. 

Like the perfect sunset, he comes so slow but leaves so fast…but you know that everyday he will come back, even if the skies get rough, he will never disappoint the damsel sitting by the water waiting for a touch of magic. 

Dear reader, no winter can ever let me forget his warmth. And no infinity can ever let me forget our forever. 

Dear love, I will not forget you.