anxiety

Even if the infinite forbids me

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Friend: When will you stop breaking your heart?

Me: When someone starts picking up the pieces that went astray.

Friend: Are you really gonna wait that long?

Me: What do you mean?

Friend: If you’re not gonna pick up the pieces now, you might never find them in the future because there are stupid people in this world who would kick it out of their way or people who would troll with it.

Me: I guess I would wait for the one who will actually see me when I’m invisible.

Friend: And if he doesnt come?

Me: I will wait. In this lifetime or the next…I will wait. Because he will come.

Friend: How many times will you believe that lie?

Me: Until every piece falls back right into place.

Friend: Why does your world have to revolve around finding the RIGHT HIM?!

Me: Because I am left broken..and I dont deserve to be broken. I deserve to be fixed. And every girl in this world who has cried for the wrong guy deserves to dream of the most beautiful fantasies…maybe dance of top of clouds and cast a fishing line from the tip of a crescent moon.. every damsel in distress deserves to fall in love again…to escape the world of depression and endless anxiety and maybe shoot across the galaxies of pure oddity and supremacy.

Dear friend, I believe that the world of hurt is filled with people who deserves to die on a cozy deathbed..knowing that in their hearts is a man who will always carry a piece of her memory in his soul. This is what every girl dreams of..

I just want a chance. And dear friend, I will wait even until the day the oceans go separate ways…even if the infinite forbids me.

An Invincible Summer

The mind is always filled with questions whether to continue or not, to let go and move on, or to go one unnoticed..and we often try to search for the answers through the random views of the window, the blankness of the ceiling and the silence of the walls.

But today, I stopped bugging inanimate objects for answers they cannot provide. I realize, there is no choice offered. No matter how wide of an ocean is your tears of misery, the sun will seize to set and rise. No matter how close your heart is to giving up, the universe will continue to expand and the people in it will not stop living and dying. No matter how many stitches fail to cover up the pain, the earth will tilt and the clouds will not stop creating rain. No matter how many times I fly and fall, time will persist to plant wrinkles upon my face and invade my head with a crown of snow. 

There are no choices fluttering above our heads because life goes on. It does not wait for the little hands we have to be big enough to catch all the bitter things in the world. Life will always send clouds upon you head, to rain on you until the spirit inside you wilts dulls up. It does not stop or wait. Life goes on.

But dear reader, one thing I’ve learned from being dragged across this race of life is that within me there lives an invincible summer-a courage that no winter can ever break. And do even if life goes on, I will always stand up and say “do your worst.”