Do not love.

I hope you look back and know that I did love you. I hope you look back and realize that I never meant to say goodbye to make you leave. Although I did make you leave. But not because I wanted you to. I just wanted you happy.

The irony, I know. But I can’t pretend to see how you mistake my morning frustrations with your lack of care. Baby, you always care. You never fail to recognize the frowns I try hard to hide. You never fail to ask what’s wrong, to which I respond “Nothing, I’m fine.” And I see your face when you hear me say that- I see the look of pain followed by a sigh that says “what did I do wrong this time”. Dear, you didn’t do anything wrong but to love me.

I should’ve come with a warning sign that said: depressed, lonely, anxious, a big pile of emotional mess…do not love.

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