What i feel right now is simple. I feel empty.
Actually its more complicated when you mix in a whole year of suppressed anger towards the people who did nothing wrong. Its more complicated when all the stress from school gets suck in. Its all complicated
But the word feels so simple.
Its always wake up tired. Pull your shit together enough to get through 6 hours of class. Be all sad. Sleep. Then do it all over again.
This has been me for over a year now. Empty.
Just short term laughter, no real goals in life, no idea how to feel alive again.
You know, nothing kills you like how your mind does.
Wounds and internal bleeding are nothing compared to self sabotage by mind. Cuz while all those disease and injuries hurt, at least you know where to put your hands to ease the pain. The mind doesnt do that. Instead, it hurts your soul. And sometimes you try so hard to stick your hands inside your chest to calm your heart but you often end up sticking needles in you.
Empty. I wish there was a medical term for that. Because in reality, empty kills.