Remember the tiny voice that once said “I wanna be an architect!” or “I’m gonna be the best teacher ever.”
Well that’s gone now.
That sweet innocent voice is lost.
Cuz all I hear now is:
Pass the exam. Don’t look back. Cheat. Take Flight.
Memorize everything down to the finest details.
Just get a good grade
Kill or be killed…
I guess survival of the fittest exists in college. Cuz every minute I’m not reading and memorizing all those scientific terms, I feel like someone else gets above me- closer to the dreams of becoming a medical doctor. I feel like school isnt about learning anymore…its more like an arena.
Grab a sword and stab the others. If you don’t, you die.
I dont like this. I dont like the reality that I have to push everyone else down the cliff just for me to get across.
I don’t want that. I’m not some piece anyone can just use. But I’m afraid adaptation is turning me into this inhumane being who will do anything just to avoid the chopping block and cheat her way through everything.
But I know Im so much more than that. I’m stronger.
Maybe instead of saying “pass the exam!” I’ll tell myself “learn and be happy.”
Instead of saying “memorize everything”, I’d go with “understand your passion. you chose it, so take your stand and fight.”
Instead of saying “just get a good grade”, I’ll just smile and say “I’ll be happy trying”
And instead of living by the motto “kill or be killed” maybe I’ll start singing to the words “just do your passion and success will chase you down.”
College is tough. But dear reader, I’m tougher. I’m more than just a piece in their games 😉