If this was a movie.

I believe that destiny is flawed in its own way. I mean if life was a movie, then he’d be here by now and the ending would be beautiful. We’d have 3 kids and live in a tiny house, all cuddled up in one couch watching a volleyball game, arguing over which team was better while the smell of popcorn and diet soda fills the blissful atmosphere of the whole living room.

I’ve thought of getting married once with a real wedding- all the white gown and flowers and altar and vows. But today, I just feel like rewriting the past, wishing that the tragedy between stars that crossed never happened. But it’s funny how we can never go back and change the details, we can only relive them in our memories, maybe cry or laugh at them.  Maybe think of the words we should have said and take back the words we actually said.

Dear ‘friend’

If our story was a movie, then I wouldn’t have left you alone to cry. I would’ve hugged you and kissed you and stayed with you for more decades to come. But if I did that then I would be living a lie right now…pretending I’m not hurt or pretending I’m okay with the past 2 years of  not being able to feel loved. If I stayed, then I would have never met him- the right one or the other one.

If this was a movie, then I wouldn’t know how good it feels like to have my hand be held by someone else..or to have my head rest on someone else’s shoulder. If this was a movie, then I wouldn’t know pain and the I wouldn’t realize the value of friendship.

I guess there is a reason for the fault in our stars…I guess it is for us to find the better galaxy we belong in.

Dear ‘friend’, I miss you. But more than that, I thank you. Because right now, we are a million light years away..still searching for the missing pieces. And on our way, I know we will find the right one. And maybe someday we’ll know why I wasn’t meant for you.

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