In Miserable Grey Times

In my chest there lives an eternal maze of broken glass- suffocating me..trapping every  bit of hurt I feel.. the kind of pain that no tears can ever let out. 

I still love you. 

Of course, I never stopped. Nor did I ever think of stopping. But whenever we talk, it is always the wrong words that escape my mouth. 

Please stop holding her hand. You’re fracturing every fiber of my being that holds on to the rails of hopeless love. Please take care of her but not in front of me. I can’t bear to see you in her shadows..I can’t even stop choking every time you close the distance between you and her. I used to be that girl. 

But not anymore.

Your hand is not mine to hold anymore. And I guess, it never was. Maybe it was just my job to scar it with wounds to be healed by another. 

And so I watch your life from the corner of my eyes.. still believing in what I though we had..still missing you. 

I hate to say it but I still love you. 

-18

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