It 11:22 and I’ve been trying to talk to you. I just can’t find the right words to fit our tragedy. But here’s an attempt.
I’m sorry I fell in love. I don’t regret it. But I know you do.
No, that’s so stupid. Let me start with a lie.
I’m moving on now.
Of course that’s a lie. The image of you refuses to leave my mind. Your eyes..a perfect shade, not brown..not even black..but a perfect color in between. I’ve had the pleasure of staring into them and falling asleep..remembering them in my dreams. Of course, I remember everything. From the way you walk, to the way you taste, to the way your skin feels.
Lately I’ve been trying to forget every fragment of us that happened for the past few years.
But that’s another lie. I never tried to forget you. Instead, I kept remembering everything. The way your heartbeat was the perfect lullaby for me. The feeling of pure warmness when your voice whispers on my ears..as if your voice was some sort of drug I was addicted to.
I love you.
I don’t know if that’s a lie. I don’t even want to find out. I just wanna feel it the third time around. And maybe, I could break the shackles choking me inside.
I wish you luck in the future.
Of course I don’t. I can’t bear the thought of you having a future without me. I am too fragile to even see you hold her hand and walk with her. Maybe even one dance with her will turn me into a supernova-exploding from staccato bursts of pain. Don’t even try to kiss her. My heart would commit suicide. Come back to me, instead.
I am fragile. I am broken. I am lost. I am stuck on my bed, with an infinity of sweet flicks I watch and endure..wishing you are here with me, catching my tears and soothing me with your touch.
But I guess you are summer and I am winter. It is our nature to hurt each other. You are fire and I am ice. Our collision ends in tears. And now all we have is sadness.. Its not the type of misery that changes us..Its the grief that reveals us.
Maybe, Im just going around the bush here.
I miss you. And it’s 11:41. And whatever number the clock points to, I will always miss you because we will always be miles apart and you will never miss me back.
It’s 11:49. I miss you.