So I starved myself every night just to lose the extra pounds and fit into skinny-type jeans everyone was wearing.
So I straightened my hair and covered my face with all the make up I could afford by selling my books until no one would recognize who I was.
You’re too short!
So I overdosed on pills that promised to make me thin and tall.
You’re too dark!
So I sold more books and cleared a whole shelf of whitening lotion in the supermarket, applied them more than 3 times a day, sold more books and bought whitening soaps.
Please, I’ve changed. Please I fit in. I look just like everyone else- tall, white, skinny, and beautiful.
But my mind mind kept saying..
You’re still fat! You’re still ugly!
So I looked at myself in the mirror and it showed me a monster. The girl who cried because she wasn’t good enough is the now a pretty girl- pretty…not beautiful. Just a carbon copy of what people thinks she should be. The girl who locked herself up in her room because she was too embarrassed of herself is now finally thin- just thin…not sexy because she felt horrible and she was starving. The girl who was laughed at is now popular- only popular…but not loved because she ditched her old friends who accepted her just to fit in with the cool people.
I wiped my face, removed all the make-up and I washed my hair which was bathe in so many chemicals that it went dry. I smiled the smile of a girl who is no longer crying..who is no longer gonna skip dinner..who is no longer gonna listen to the monsters that lived in her head..who is finally good enough because she is the girl who is perfect…perfectly flawed with each freckle, mark and each curl in her bushy hair. And I will never try to change for anything else ever again because I realized I AM BEAUTIFUL. And all the girls should realize that too.